he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
