"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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