Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize