I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
