I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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