She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
