He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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