I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
