Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
