You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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