cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
pray to the hookup gods
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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