Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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