Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
