It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
