there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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