Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
