We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
