3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The Olympian is in my bed
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
