our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My ass is underappreciated
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize