Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
