I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize