He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
