He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
