I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
