I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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