So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
