just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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