She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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