Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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