She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
