all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
