Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
