new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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