If that was your dad, he is hot
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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