it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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