All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
