Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
