she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
