that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
this is an emotional support booty call
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
