you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
