hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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