do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
