I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
