Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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