god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She's the barista slut.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
