Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
