he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Randomize
