Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
