Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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