Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
