It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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