So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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