you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
