fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
