Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
