doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
