Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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