If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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