i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Randomize