I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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