just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
