The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize